


WEEGEE DREAM TEAM

by AnonymouslyDead



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games), Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Bars, Gen, Humor, Idk if this makes sense tbh, Literal pole dancing, Pole Dancing, Smash Brothers Tournament, getting drunk, i wrote it fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23160814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyDead/pseuds/AnonymouslyDead
Summary: Some crack I wrote for a friendIn which Waluigi cheers Luigi up after a loose in a Smash Bros Tournament
Relationships: Waluigi & Luigi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	WEEGEE DREAM TEAM

Not being picked for the Smash Brothers Ultimate tournament turned out not to be as bad as Waluigi expected.

Thanks to Wario getting an invite, Waluigi at least got to go to the facility as a plus one. The tournament had rented out a luxury resort for one. The place was decked out with every amenity he could think of, multiple pools, a state of the art gym, a movie theater in the lobby, and his personal favorite, a recreational complex that included a tennis court. 

So while Wario ran off to practice or compete in the resort’s stadium, Waluigi took advantage of that complex all week. He needed to keep his skills up anyway if he wanted to keep his existing contracts with Nintendo. Those Olympic meets against SEGA were going to be hell this year, he knew. 

Plus, the tournament gave him a great array of opponents to choose from. Right when Waluigi walked in, the complex was teeming with his previous coworkers. Mario passed a basketball around with Link before Kirby swallowed it and spat it out towards the basket. Samus and a few others also dotted the court, paying attention to the game as the ball was passed around. He also caught sight of Rouge the bat walking towards the aerobics room across the gym- must be a plus one too. 

A hard bump knocked into Waluigi’s back. Waluigi jumped and whipped around, ready to snap only to find an Ivysaur staring up at him. 

“Sorry about that, mister!” One of the couple of Pokémon trainers ran up to them. He couldn’t have been more than 16 if Waluigi had to guess. He took out a pokeball and recaptured what was apparently his Ivysaur before walking off again clearly all alone. 

Waluigi frowned. Who let a kid come here alone? 

He shook his head. Not his problem. Waluigi started making his way across the court, trying his very best not to get crushed by Kirby the weight or Samus’ massive suit, when he caught sight of a familiar green seated in the bleachers all alone. Waluigi frowned again. Luigi?

He made his way over to the guy, and sure enough, Luigi was seated alone. He was staring down at his feet as Waluigi approached. It’s only when Waluigi is stepping up into the bleachers that Luigi looked up with a start. 

“You...ok there, Luigi?” Waluigi asked, feeling oh so awkward. Sure, they were loosely acquainted; they had spent time working on many projects together after all. However, they never exactly talked outside of work. 

Luigi just shook his head, but his expression looked frankly depressing. His hands flew to caress his face, pointing out a red mark that would probably end with a nasty bruise tomorrow. There was probably more, Waluigi knew. Smash Brother’s fights got brutal.

“Lost a fight?” Waluigi guessed. 

Luigi nodded. 

“Come on, it’s not that bad. Everyone loses a fight.” 

“This one knockeda me out of the tournament.” Luigi said, his frown growing even longer if that was possible. Waluigi felt bad. 

“Well, who needs the tournament? It’s less fighting you’ll have to do.” Waluigi tried. It was a boldfaced lie. Waluigi would kill for an invite; the pay alone for fighting was well worth the medical bills that came from facing Link’s sword. 

Luigi wasn’t buying it anyway. Waluigi sighed. 

“Come on, don’t be like that. Here. Waluigi will cheer you up.”

************************************

The One Up Girl was a strawberry margarita artistically arranged to look like the mushrooms in Mario Brothers. Waluigi has seen too many of them from all of the times he’s worked on Mario shows. 

That’s why Waluigi chugged three as quickly as he could. 

Luigi was a little less eager. He grimaced at the alcohol laden drink as he sipped away. It took him a while. But soon with a little egging on, he had one down. He finished the glass with a click onto the counter. He swayed in his seat giggling with a faint blush across his face. 

Waluigi was feeling the same. The two made nonsensical talk as they kept drinking, giggling for no reason after every other word. 

That is until Waluigi caught sight of one hell of a woman. All words halted on Waluigi’s tongue as he watched the woman’s long legs strut across the bar. She was in a skin tight suit that showed windows of skin in all the right places. She turned, revealing her cat like glare and luscious red lips. 

Dear lord. Waluigi pulled at his collar. Did someone just let Ness do magic in the bar all of a sudden? 

Waluigi almost stumbled over to talk to her, but he stopped himself. He was here to cheer up Luigi. 

So his alcohol laden mind turned to Luigi and, in all of his brilliance, nudged him, pointing at her. “See that lady?” 

Luigi followed his gaze only for his jaw to drop. “Mama mia, she’s pretty.” 

Waluigi chuckled. “Yes. You should go talk to her.” 

Luigi shook his head, but Waluigi kept urging him on. He could see Luigi glancing at the woman as she mulled around the bar. He clearly wanted to, so-

Waluigi pushed him into it. Literally. 

His alcohol brain thought it would be a good idea to literally push him off his seat and towards the woman. The woman, Bayonetta...Waluigi has seen her in the promotions for this year’s tournament. 

Anyway, Bayonetta watched them approach with a calculating look. Waluigi met her look, ready to set up his best role as a wingman. Except-

“You boys looking for a good time?” Bayonetta asked bluntly with a raised eyebrow. Waluigi spluttered while Luigi let out a whole squeak. The woman smirked. “Well?” 

Luigi- a man who thinks leagues above Waluigi- produced a flower from his pocket and handed it to her. Bayonetta’s eyes widened. She took it with a soft smile. 

“Well, aren’t you sweet? Why don't you two come on back with me, darlings?” She asked. She started striding towards the stage in the middle of the bar. Waluigi and Luigi looked at each other before eagerly following. 

And from there, they somehow ended up on poles. 

Waluigi and Luigi held their bodies in a pose- one they had done many times at work- and spun around the poles by one hand to the springy piano music Bayonetta pounded out of the grand piano on the left side of the stage. The patrons of the bar cheered them on as they spun on the pole.Then, they moved from the pole and added their own dance moves. Luigi hit them with the sprinkler while Waluigi flossed to his heart’s content, letting out a hearty wah in joy. 

The crowd ate it up. At the end, people threw roses and coins. Even stars. 

At least, that’s what Waluigi guessed that’s what happened...since he woke up on stage in a pile of coins. Luigi groaned next to him, laying in own pile of coins. A rainbow star was stuck to his face. Luigi peeled it off and looked only to squeal. Luigi showed Waluigi the curling cursive Bayonetta written across the star along with a phone number. 

Waluigi fist pumped. “WEEGEE DREAM TEAM WAHH!” 

“YEAH!” Luigi cheered. 


End file.
